Happy 4th of July Party

Fourth of July party was great, At least for those drunk and the kids. I personally didn’t drink anything as I’d drank some Disaronno the night before. I had actually finished off a bottle and I wasn’t feeling quite like drinking two nights in a row. I know I’m getting old but I can accept that as I just wasn’t feeling great. I had sandpaper in my eyes and a dull ache at my temples as well as four children who wanted my undivided attention at ever single moment while I was walking around in slow motion so I wouldn’t jar my head or make the sandpaper scratch my eyeballs more. So there will be no drinking for the 4^th of July party at my house by this writer.

The participants started arriving at 2:30pm to unload all their goody’s, food, kids, liquor and fireworks. Yes we had fireworks. I mean after all these years I figure, I’ve usually got at least 5 to 10 firefighters, they should know what to do and what not to do. Right? Yeah, right, about that later. So, people start arriving, two by two, four by four, baseball teams and basketball teams and then the oldest and youngest are starting to make noise. No music, yep, the radio silently sits there waiting for one brave soul to turn a knob or switch a button, but they are all afraid. And I’ll admit, I’m running around past everyone at breakneck speed at this point but only because I don’t know where to go or what to do and there is still a list of things that need to be done, until I realize, my husband has all of a sudden went on vacation…just in time for the party, so nothing else will be done until the next day (he’s putting in a new kitchen faucet now as I type). People have brought their chairs, coolers, towels, ice and tents. People are walking through my house as if they live in a barn. Flies are coming in the door in record numbers because the food is all on the table. The flies are here for the buffet of bar-b-que ribs, pork bar-b-que, pasta salads, potato salads and all the extra trimmings that they can land on and spread their germs. Now of course, I’m not saying that the people are NOT spreading their germs because they are and I’ve seen at least two people double dipping so yum!! We all can have those people’s germs, woohoo! Thank you, I couldn’t have lived without your germs and I mean that is the crappiest sense of sarcasm I can possible think of at this moment.

Just as we decide if we are going to do the fireworks, I see one of my kids heading out in the water. And heading out. And heading out. Now you can walk for about a ¼ of a mile and the water will still be at your hips. I’m yelling for the 3 to come back but the wind is blowing towards me so I know they can’t hear so as it’s starting to get dark and I don’t know where the drop off is, I start to get worried. I know my kids can swim and better than me but I can’t just sit there and watch them drown that far out or be sucked under or something, so my friend sends two other kids to get them and I’m thinking, no I’m getting them as it is getting dark and I’m still getting scared because they are getting smaller and smaller and the waves are choppy at this point. I jump off the bulkhead and start walking out to where I think they are and I continue to walk and walk and walk and I’m really getting scared because I can’t see them now and I’m really afraid of being on or in the water when it’s dark but I’m more afraid of seeing my child washed up on a beach so I continue to walk and after at least 15 minutes of walking, I finally spot the three boys and turn a little to the left towards where they are standing, waist deep, doing little dives into the water and it wasn’t A2 who was in the water like I thought, it was A1 and I yell. Yep, I yelled because I was pissed because it was getting dark, glad they were still alive, angry because I was wet, and they were standing there laughing having a good time. So, we get back to land 30 minutes after I jumped into the water wearing my white short pants and pink panties and I walk past everyone without saying anything but I do give my husband a look that said, “Don’t say anything.” Of course he’s giving me a look that says, “I’m glad it wasn’t me.” A1 turned 19 the day of the party but lord did he act like he was one of the 2 year old natives. And just for the record, I’m an optimist who thinks pessimistic thoughts and they weren’t pretty for those 30 minutes in the water. So A1 stayed really close to the house for the rest of the party, you can bet. A2 of course made sure he was within my sight for the rest of the party too. My kids aren’t scared of me but they sure fear me and I can live with that because I tell them ways I’d take them out on any given day to keep that fear alive.

At dusk we decide to light off the fireworks as the wind has settled down from about 30mph to about 28mph and only my house is in the line of what could essentially be a big 4^th of July party turned into a big bon fire with firefighters sitting around with beer and marshmallows singing a classic song from the 70’s. So, I wake up the natives so they won’t be screaming during the fireworks and can watch the bright lights shoot into the sky. The babies are sitting with my sister and husband while I stand back and watch the booms and hear the ooohhh’s and aaahhh’s from the natives. My sister and husband decide the natives have had enough and we head back into the house to wait until the show is over before putting them in bed again by watching Mickey Mouse. All of a sudden I see a lot of fireworks and just as I say, “Wow, that must be…..Why are they so close to the house?” A stampede enters my house, yelling for me and my husband, saying, the sucker who was lighting the fireworks is in trouble and kids are screaming and crying and adults are re-living the split seconds before they made it into the house second ago. So my husband throws G to me and heads out, I of course want to see the carnage so I throw G to my sister who has Z in her arms already and I “try” to head out. My husband must have made it through as I can’t find him in the crowd that has congregated in the sunroom and kitchen. I finally make it out a few minutes later and there is cardboard everywhere, plastic everywhere, chairs everywhere, coolers everywhere and firefighters standing around telling what they saw to each other while my husband is grabbing the water hose to make sure all the embers are out because there are quite a few in the yard. I’m actually thinking how thankful I am that the fireworks were being set off on the bulkhead because I’m sure a lot of hot fireworks went that way into the water. So me being the boss that I am, I tell them to start picking up the trash that used to be fireworks so I don’t have to do it in the morning after they are all gone and all of sudden rakes and trashcans appear out of nowhere and men are actually doing what I asked. Yeah, me!! Now my husband was the sucker who lit the fireworks last year and you can bet the sucker who did them this year will probably not volunteer next year, of course I could be wrong and probably am. By the way, he’s fine, a little charred on his shirt but his fireworks lighting days might be over unless they are sparklers. 

Can't wait to see what happens next year.

One more day survived. WooHoo!!