How many arms and legs are there?

This past week has been as you would expect with twins, crazy! From hubby’s recovery from surgery to picking apples to putting pajamas on the natives, it sure is was a crazy week.

Last Sunday we went for a 1 hour drive and 40 minute ferry ride to pick apples. The drive wasn’t too bad and the natives seem to handle an hour pretty well…two hours? Not so much so we were good to go. I had brought the Ergo Carriers so they wouldn’t be running around on the ferry. I know! Wishful thinking on my part that I can control them because let’s face it, I love to control my surroundings and when that doesn’t happen, I go crazy. Well, once we got “underway” the natives were released from their restraints and cages were opened and they burned off a little energy that was building up. I was impressed and was glad hubby went ahead without the carriers. The natives loved the ride over on the ferry and thought the “boat” was awesome. We got everyone back in their restraining contraptions with no hassles. We then went to the Vineyard which had plenty of different apples, grapes, peaches, a nice picnic area and a little shop. OK, I exaggerate! We drove two miles off the ferry, went up this dirt road about a mile long, made the left about 50 feet in front of this house and saw what we thought was a little “farmers store”. A lady pulled up in a beat up pick up truck with a clip board and some plastic things. She came over to us and told us, “The plastic bags hold 10lbs of apples and that bag is $15. How many would you like?” Well, I was thinking, “I’d like to go back home and hit the grocery store and get 5 10lb bags for $15 and go on my merry way.” But, I said, “Two.” I KNOW, I KNOW!! $30 for 20lbs of apples and they had better be some damn good apples. My friend was thinking, “Ok, I don’t want to be cheap but I’ll get one, because I’m not getting a kiss with this…..” So, we get all the kids out and let me say, we took two vehicles, Meme, drove one of her daughters, my 2^nd oldest, and a friend of her daughters’, so 4 in her vehicle and hubby, me and the natives in our vehicles. Now, I know you are thinking, 8 people to pick 3 bag of apples, not bad. Well…IF we divided it up between the three bags, we would have each picked 4 apples maybe 5. Go ahead, laugh, shake your head. My thought when I saw the bags were, “Um…we have two hours before the ferry will be back. This is going to be a long mosquito smacking, apple picking, sweat dripping experience. And…it was. Oh and after our 15 minute excursion, we forgot to get pics of the  natives picking apples so we headed back to get that out of the way and although one native, Z was happy to do what I asked for the picture, G? Not so much, he’d pick an apple and throw it on the ground…I think he was disgusted with how much I paid for the apples too when they weren’t the sweetest ones on the market. Best part of the trip? We got to ride the ferry, ask the natives. Second best part of the trip? We got to stop at the store on the way back home and get 3 bags of sweet apples and went home to make pie filling and applesauce.

Hubby had surgery the day before the hurricane came through 3 weeks ago and I am happy to say…he went back to work, yesterday!!! WooHoo!! That’s right, I got the house back to myself! I am the boss again! I make all the decisions in this domain! I am God! Ok, maybe I exaggerate…a little. I am however, glad he is back to work. The natives loved having both of us at home because they had a choice in who kissed a boo-boo and who was going to give them what they wanted out of the snack cabinet. There is a reason my hubby works 24 hour shifts every other day…because I like it that way. I’m sure he does too because let’s face it, him looking at me and me looking at him 24/7 would end up in one of two places…him in another house or him in the ground. Either way, I’d miss him eventually, lol. I’m glad hubby is doing better and even though he still does not have his taste buds back, he’s taking advantage of it by losing a little weight. Ok, not really taking advantage, more like having to accept and my man is not a happy camper, lol. Now, while he was home, he did try very very hard to eat food that smelled good. He was making hamburgers, sausage, whatever he could think of and I was eating pretty good during that time after his initial first bite was taken and he couldn’t stomach anymore of the saw-dust he was tasting. I personally hope he gets his taste buds back because if he doesn’t…I’m going to have to stop with the taste testing all his foods. Not to mention his nose is shot! He can’t smell anything right now and I do not like, repeat, do not like, smelling milk to see if it’s bad. Upside? I could probably fart and he wouldn’t smell that. Of course knowing my luck, that would be the only thing he would smell, lol. He went back to work yesterday and goes again tomorrow and then…you guessed it…3 days off. I can’t win for losing, lol. My honey-do list is getting longer and he’s just sick enough that I can’t fuss to much when he starts coughing or has trouble swallowing. I’m beginning to think he’s playing it up so he can get out of doing a few things. The natives of course thought it was funny right after daddy’s surgery because he had to breathe through his mouth and he would snore…you guessed it, I now have two pint size snorers, lol, and daddy doesn’t think it’s funny that they mock him, I of course do, lol.

The natives are getting independent on me and as a control freak, I’m not liking it one bit. They have their job and I have my job and it’s not the same anymore. Granted, food isn’t flying onto the floor as much but toys are sailing across the room, cars are being run into my ankles, heads are being butted into my face at an alarming rate. And the giggles are becoming more and more frequent. I’m thinking I’m raising hoodlums who are going to be on YouTube one day for fighting about a dozen other kids by themselves AND winning! I should probably cut  my loses and just teach them to not get caught, how to stay out of jail and keep a lawyer on retainer for just their legal needs. I am teaching them though. After giving them baths, they drop their towel right next to me on the floor and then run and giggle and it has become a game of “Keep away from mommy”. It usually takes about 20 minutes to corral them one by one to get them with clothes on and with all the golf carts riding up and down the road, plenty of our neighbors get a little show of naked kids at the front door. Once I get one of the natives, usually Z as she’s not as sneaky as her brother, I get her on the floor to put her diaper and pajamas on and all of a sudden she sprouts 8 arms and legs. I finally wrestle her into her diaper and pajamas and she’s off to continue the game except she knows she’s not to main target anymore so she can get a little closer to me. G on the other hand will twist and turn and get “just” out of my reach and laugh and giggle and run away again. He’s just as bad as his sister getting the diaper and pajamas on. It wears me out just getting them dressed. You wrestle 16 arms and legs. The natives used to love taking their diapers to the trash can and putting their clothes in the hamper. Not no more! That is beneath them! I have become their slave and they are not afraid of letting me know it because they have me outnumbered 2 to 1 and they are smart enough to know it and use it to their advantage. That is why I love bedtime. I kiss their little curly heads, turn on the sound machine and walk out of their room…to hopefully sit on my butt and do nothing. Yeah, wishful thinking but it’s my goal somedays.

One more day survived. WooHoo!!

Wow! What a week...or two

Once again I haven’t written on my blog in a while. I can only say, it’s been crazy around here…and not just here, all across the U.S. We have fires in a few different states, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, it’s crazy. I have pictures of driving through the smoke and I have pictures of what the hurricane did. Thankfully I don’t have any damage from the earthquake or tornadoes. Oh and incase I forgot to mention, my hubby got surgery the day before the hurricane came through and we evacuated, so yeah. Crazy busy seems to be the motto in this house this summer. I haven’t even did as much shopping as I’d have liked and that is just sad, sad, sad, lol.

The day I had to go to court the wind was blowing on the road I was traveling and the smoke from the fire was amazing. I would see it in the distance but hadn’t had to drive through it. It was not a pretty site and it was not something I want to repeat. I was in the Honda Hybrid with the natives and A2 and couldn’t see 10 feet in front of me. I was petrified that someone would crash into the back of my car or I would crash into someone in front of me. Driving 8mph for 18 miles is hair-raising, in fact, I think I have more white hair now. Glad the wind changed by the time I had to go back through that area or I would have drove an hour out of my way to get home, seriously. I mean, I was in the hybrid, I get 37 mpg and I wasn’t afraid to use it! There were a couple of accidents on the road about an hour later. I can believe it! I’m just amazed no one was seriously hurt as that road should have been closed until the smoke lifted.

The earthquake wasn’t too bad in my area, the house moved a teeny bit, thought about it and then moved a little bit more. My front door moved, stopped and then the movement worked it’s way towards the back door. A2 said his bed moved, my chimes moved and the natives woke up from their nap early. No damage. Of course it was hours before my facebook page calmed down because not only did I feel the earthquake from a state away, so did about 20 other states, the whole east coast of the US. Not to mention at least 5 or 6 aftershocks including one today. It always amazes me on Facebook how people are so rude and obnoxious and just downright show lack of manners to the general public. Those people are private bully’s. I mean, I try to be honest and may have some funny, rude comments I could make but I don’t. Why? Because I also have manners. I’d also like to think I have raised at least half of my young to have some manners and show a little humility towards all creatures of this earth, including those rude bully’s out there. OK, off my soap box because hey, I can talk on my soap box for days…weeks…even years but then I’d have to get down to a level I can’t use Ajax to take off and well, I like being above those moron’s because let’s face it…I am better, hehe. All jokes aside, if you are on facebook and want to say something snotty to someone, step back, think about why you need to say it and then just do us all a favor and realize that you shouldn’t, because that person is better than you and your 2 cents to make yourself feel better only brings out other moron’s or bully’s and well…we have enough of them in the world and some people breed them just for the hell of it so……shut up.

Now the hurricane, that was eventful. We got to go through a few totes and pack up a bunch of stuff I wouldn’t want to lose if our house blew away (which made me realize, I really need to put the natives ultrasound pictures in their baby books). The family is scrambling around getting stuff done before the hurricane gets here. Clothes washed, folded and put away (because I don’t want someone to think I didn’t wash them as they lay across the road, field or next state after the storm) and of course, vacuum and clean the bathrooms (because I don’t want someone to try and use my toilet only to realize it hasn’t had all the germs cleaned right out of it) and then of course all the trash taken out and secured in the trash cans (because I know my trash is another man’s treasure, but I’m just not seeing dirty diapers from two natives as being a treasure). We get most packed in suitcases and totes and have a list for all the last minute items.

Hubby has surgery last Friday morning (which is the day before the hurricane is going to hit our area). Yep, not cancelled, not postponed, not even hinted at being postponed. The doctor realizes that this surgery is a gold mine of money from insurance company and patient and most likely the big contributor is that he needs to make another payment on his sports car outside if the hurricane doesn’t mess it up and it’s not totaled by the car insurance company. So…hubby has his tonsils taken out, his adenoids, taken out, his sinus’ rooted through and then his nasal passages enlarged. Yep, it was an all of nothing type of surgery and boy does he feel it. I know he keeps thinking I’m hitting the hell out of his face each morning when he wakes up because he is in a lot of pain a week after it happened. He’s got drugs for the pain but, let’s face it, when you have something going on ‘in’ your head, it hurts more than getting hit in your privates or so I’ve been told of course I could be wrong and let’s face it…I am a girl so I don’t have dangly stuff to compare it legitimately to. 

OK, back to the hurricane. My sister is down to watch the natives while I’m with hubby at the hospital but she’s also secretly down because I need someone to pack all that stuff I have put in totes and suitcases into my big truck while I sit on my ass at the hospital feeling important because I can’t do anything at home because I’m there and can’t do anything there because well they have nurses everywhere and I just need to look like I’m making the effort until one comes in from the desk outside the room, right? Well, as we finally get out of the hospital and get home, my sister has the truck almost completely packed. I have a little hole to see out the back of the truck…just in case I need to change lanes. My sister is also heading out with me to my sister in laws house because let’s face it, she’s not married so doesn’t have to worry about a husband who just got out of surgery and she knows my sister in law has a big in ground pool and the weather there will be awesome as it’s just out of reach of the rain bands from Hurricane Irene. Hell I’m jealous of her, lol. We stayed for two nights and left her house Sunday morning. Got back to no electricity a few of the neighbors branches in our yard. My hubby gets out the generator and realizes the plug is wrong so off to the store I go. The salesman says they are all out of the plug because everyone has been getting them for their generators..well duh?! Color me red for thinking I would be the only one getting one for my generator. So, we head over to the dryer plug section and get one of those plugs. Pay and back home. Hubby starts opening the package and splicing the wires and BAM!! Power came back on. Well, damn! If I’d known that’s all it would have taken, we would have headed up to the hardware store a little earlier, lol.

My oldest A1 get’s his picture in the local paper at his college for the baseball and other sport teams helping to pick up all the debris from the storm. They should have came out here, I would have taken plenty of pictures of them cleaning up my yard. I guess I’m glad he was doing something productive and helping the community also. I on the other hand was outside raking up all the pine cones, branches, pine needles (and there were a lot) from my yard and the neighbor’s yard for the past week. Almost done and so very glad while a neighbor a few doors down had his entire family down for the Labor Day holiday. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth on their little golf carts all weekend long not to mention all the kids out on the water on the jet skis and boats. It’s just not fair to have all that fun while others in the neighborhood are busting their butts picking up…but I’ll live, I mean the neighbor lost his dock and gazebo, so nah, there! Lol

Hah! As I’m writing this, I look over and see G looking at me as he reaches onto the counter for my pack of cigarettes. We do our usual dance of: mommy threatens to whip my butt, G stand still thinking mommy won’t see me, until I give him the choice… “Do you want to call this a draw as you step away from the counter”? The native thinks this is a brilliant idea as he puts my pack of cigarettes down, shakes his head up and down and steps back from the counter. See I didn’t raise no fools!

One more day survived. WooHoo!!