Calgon...take me away!!! Please!!!

My kids are driving me crazy! I only say that because I’ve been with them for weeks without time to myself. Don’t beat me and don’t think I’m a crappy parent, I need adult interaction. I’m thinking the cashier at the grocery store might have to work but I’m not sure how’d they’d feel me talking to them for an hour and holding up the line. Lol My sister is a good source of adult interaction but talking on the phone at 10 o’clock at night for 2 hours only does so much. We’ve actually been on the phone for 35 minutes right now as I type because we are waiting on the new sales ad that comes up at midnight so we can plan our shopping trips for tomorrow. She lives in another state, an hour away, so we don’t see each other as much as I’d like. Of course she’s a b*tch so we are well suited for each other as we are related. Her son gets switched by aliens as much as my two teenagers get switched so I’m not sure how the aliens know to use our kids for experiments as we live a ways away from each other.

G got into the Vaseline and decided to use it as a mouse in his hair…2 days ago. I used the regular shampoo last night and his hair was still stuck to his head. Tonight’s bath including a Dawn dishwashing liquid shampoo…and it’s still in his hair! I’m guessing I’ll be using the Dawn for a few more days. Maybe I should have gotten a scented dishwashing liquid so his hair will smell good too. Of course, I’m thinking because I have curly hair and I’ve seen how well his has stayed in one spot, maybe I should use it for mine? I don’t know, having oily hair might not be a good look for me either. Guess I’ll just work on his with the Dawn, over and over and over, until his hair is soft and beautiful again.

G has become a comedian. He thinks my jokes and pranks on him are hilarious and he thinks the one’s he plays are just as hilarious! He is such a happy native unless he wants something sweet to eat or if his sister is in the way. Now that’s not to say he is always mean to his sister because if she needs something or if she gets into trouble and starts to cry, he will go over and hug her…which is so sweet and then I’m not upset at her so she will live another day in this house. 

Z has become an expert at getting out of her clothes in seconds. Almost every single time I look at her, she has her pants off or at her feet. Now I know this girl doesn’t have a butt, but she’s getting these things off in record time. My little girl will be a stripper when she grows up I can see right now and with at least 16 to 18 years more experience, I’m sure she will be bringing in the money. I guess maybe one of my kids will be able to support me in my old age…which at this time could start in just a couple of years as I’ve noticed gray hair popping out all over my head with the natives and the teenagers wearing me down.

All I know is I’m tired. Tired of kids. Tired of arguing. Tired of being tired. I need to sleep for a few days or until I get bed sores. Then I need to spend a few hours away from the house without a native or two. I also need to liquidate all my assets so I can be debt free and spend their inheritance before they kill me because that’s just the kind of person I am. Don’t want to leave nothing for the natives or their older brothers. Bahaha

One more day survived. WooHoo!!