My Return from Oz

I haven’t updated my blog in quite a while as I hate to post anything when I’m angry and upset and I have been angry and upset for about a month. It was like a long PMS cycle. I’ve had a  lot happen, some good, some not so good, some I can live with, some I want to smack someone up-side the head. I think I’m mostly over it but hey! I am a female and I can change my mind at a moment’s notice so I reserve the right as of this moment.

I have had my son get into a sharpie and color his sister and himself. The natives had a restless time during my hiatus also it seems. He didn’t mind the red sharpie on her but after the green sharpie on him, he wasn’t cool with that and had a meltdown. It only took a couple of days to get it out. I’m just glad it wasn’t a black sharpie because those things stay for a while.

G decided that since I use hair gel in my hair…you guessed it, he wanted some in his. Since he can’t reach the hair gel but can reach the Vaseline…yep. It took a few days and a lot of Dawn dishwashing detergent and Cornstarch but it is finally back to normal curls.  He sure pushes the envelope that’s for sure and if this child does not make me completely gray within a year or two it will only be because my hairdresser has hidden the evidence thoroughly from the casual observer. I can also feel the wrinkles starting around my lips and forehead from the constant frown I seem to wear while this child is awake. I’ve actually started to use Oil of Olay Regenerist to help my 60 year old skin look close to 50 on a good day.

The natives are getting into everything and I can honestly say that we will not be getting new carpet, new furniture or new paint within the next few years. The natives have taken to throwing food off their tray…onto everything. They throw food onto the walls, windows, floor, carpet, and even the back of their high chair. I don’t know how it gets back there but applesauce seems to be the best for traveling to the back of their chairs. Noodles tend to stick on the walls and windows pretty good, which I guess not only means that the noodles are cooked well but that the natives are done eating for the moment.

The natives got to go with A2 and myself for our bi-yearly cleanings. The dentist office loved them when they were little little but now…not so much. They used to come out and talk with them and smile at them and just talk about how cute they were and while they are still cute, at this age they are also loud, messy, and make everyone know when they don’t like something without giving warning or a chance to fix what they don’t like. I have plenty of toys in the diaper bag: books, cars, laptops, phones, I’ve got it but if one has it and the other doesn’t then there will be ear-drums bursting in seconds. Just for the record, my daughter can shatter wine glasses, break TV screens and have you holding your ears for hours after a fit of her’s. I’m thinking opera for her in the future but only if I can put a sound proof room in my house and only then. Anyways, I’ve got my mouth open to get my teeth all shiny and white for the next 6 months and the hygienist is talking to me a little and then we start hearing screams. A2 is in there with them as he has already gotten his new smile taken care of for now. They are screaming because one has drank all her sippy cup drink while her brother still has some and she sure loves to drink. After a minute or so he gets it taken care of and all is quiet. Not bad for being at the dentist for an hour. Of course I had to go back to get a cavity “re-done” since it had been in my mouth for 50 years or so and needed to be replaced. Oh yeah, good times of eating all types of sugar and brushing my teeth once a day because I was soooooo busy and couldn’t do it three times a day…ahh the memories.

I just took A1 back to college Saturday and let me tell you, I sure wish I would have went away to school. I want to enjoy those moments when I had no bills and didn’t have to answer to anyone and could live off my parents. Oh wait, that’s not my story, that’s only the dream my older children are dreaming and living. I guess I’m lucky they tell me they love me every once in a while unless provoked by me walking past them at night when they are home and saying, “Goodnight, I love you”. And they reply, “I love you too”. A1 has a dorm room to himself this year and his best friend is in the room next to him so I’m guessing the hallway will be a loud place for two semesters. I mentioned to A1 that I wish I had went away to college. Mr. Know-All-Be-All told me to go ahead! Yes he did! I asked him if I should just leave the natives or bring them with me? He in his infinite wisdom said, “Bring them with you”. Ahhh, thank you oh wise one. Will I ever learn to live so simply without your guidance and wisdom, Sensei?

I also had to go to court for my oldest no longer being 18 or younger. I don’t understand the court system that thinks because the child turns 18, he no longer exist and doesn’t need anything from his parents any longer. I still pay his food bill, room and board, medical bills, contact lenses, truck insurance, gas, clothes, baseball extras, etc. Maybe I should make him stay home with the natives and take his place at school for my fun-filled 4 year hiatus. I’m lucky that the courts changed the mediators ruling a few years ago (where I might add she listed me as being employed when I wasn’t to make my ex happy and based child support and medical on that) so my ex is now paying 100% of medical and child support has been reduced a little bit but the Mr. Grand-Know-All-Be-All makes a lot more than he did 3 years ago and well…now when he claims poverty to his two children, I can let them know he makes more than their step-father does AND their step-mother (my ex’s wife) also works so they are not as poor as they are lead to believe. Just because they claim it doesn’t make it a fact. On a side note: It was great to see a friend who I went to school with, even if she was my lawyer, lol. Nice catching up…will she charge me for that time when we were reminiscing, I wonder? Hmmm.

One more day survived. WooHoo!!